The Plan
by Tezeth13
Summary: Harry had a plan. That plan went horribly wrong.


Harry looked around, he saw his wife and children in danger. His family had been kidnapped. He wanted more than anything to save them. He had a crazy plan. It might work. Harry sprinted.

"Ginny, James, Albus, Lily I love you guys!" He yelled. "Stupefy!"

Harry had hit his target but not before his family's kidnapper had yelled "Avada kedavra!"  
Ginny watched in horror as the love of her life fell to the floor, dead with his eyes open.

"HARRY!" She screamed, "NOOOO!"

She and her children started sobbing.

* * *

No. No. Harry can not be dead, Ginny thought. Everything hurt. Everything. The whole world seemed to stop. Ginny could hear footsteps around her, probably the Ministry of Magic to arrest their kidnapper but couldn't exactly make sense of it all. Why? What had he done to deserve it? Her chest was on fire. Sobs escaped her lips every second. Nothing felt right.

Later that day Ginny knocked on Ron and Hermione's front door. Both Ron and Hermione answered when the door opened.

"Hey Ginny. What's up?" Ron asked innocently.

Ginny ran into his arms and just started sobbing.

"What's wrong, Ginny?" Hermione asked.

"Harry...Har-Harry's gone." She sobbed.

Hermione started crying into Ron's shoulder and he just stood there with the two women in complete shock. There was a long silence.

"When's the funeral?" Ron asked finally.

"In four days."

* * *

The Daily Prophet had Harry's death on the front page. Nobody in the Potter house left their room before the day before the funeral. The funeral was going to be a very public one. Ginny hadn't made that decision but the public wanted to be at the funeral of the Savior of the Wizarding World. Ginny hadn't spoken to Ron and Hermione since the day she told them the news. Ginny finally decided the next day to go check on her children. She first walked to James's room. She knocked on his door and when he didn't answer, she walked in anyway.

James was lying on his bed. He was just staring at the ceiling.

"How are you doing, James?" Ginny said.

He didn't answer.

"James not speaking to me isn't going to bring your father back."

"I know," he said softly.

"How are you doing?" Ginny repeated.

"How do you think I'm doing?!" James sobbed. "My father just died!"

"Don't remind me," Ginny said and was now crying hard. "Your dad was the love of my life. I don't know what to feel or how to keep going either."

"Just leave me alone, Mum."

"Okay." Ginny understood. She decided to collect herself before going to Albus's room.

"Hey Al, how are you doing?" Ginny asked her son.

"Not well."

"Is there anything I can do to help," she asked.

"No," he said flatly. "I don't mean to be rude, but can you please leave, Mum?"

"Of course."

Ginny hated seeing her family this way. Ginny allowed herself a minute to cry before going into Lilly's room. It was hard to just go a few minutes without falling to the ground crying so how was she supposed to never see him again?

Ginny walked in the room and saw her daughter crying.

"Hey, Lil. How are you holding up?" She asked gently.

"Terrible," Lily sniffled.

"Come here." Ginny pulled her daughter into a tight hug. "It's gonna be okay. You father loved you very much."

"I loved him, too! And now I'm never going to see him again! How am I supposed to keep on living?!" Lily asked desperately.

Ginny started crying again. "We're just gonna have to. It's not fair what happened to your father but it happened so I guess we're just gonna have to get through it."

* * *

The day of funeral arrived and Ron, Hermione, Rose, Hugo, Ginny, Albus, James, and Lily sat in the front row. There were thousands of wizards there. At the very front of it all was a white tomb, similar to Dumbledore's.

Ginny had lost her fair share of people. Her brother, Lupin, Tonks, Dumbledore, Sirius. But never had she felt such a loss in her life. It felt like she wasn't whole anymore. She felt so empty inside without him there. Did that make her a bad person? She hoped not. It was like everything inside of her was on fire. Mostly her heart. She was sure that everyone here would be sad that he had died but she knew that the people who had grown up with him would care the most. The other people there may shed a tear or two but she had been sobbing and then puking and then sobbing and then puking and repeating that terrible process for the past four days. She hadn't even slept. Did any of them understand? It actually made her sick to her stomach.

When the service began Ginny started to have a panic attack. Luckily, Ron helped her through it. Still though, she felt like she was going to pass out. And when she had been asked to come and say a few words she felt like she was going to die all over again. Still, she trudged her way to the front and began.

'H-H-Harry w-was the l-love of my l-life. I have s-so many memories with him but so little time. Ron had talked all about H-H-Harry a lot the summer before his second year but the first time I s-saw H-Harry in person I freaked out and ended up running away from him. Harry had always-always been my celebrity crush. Somehow, I ended up marrying him which I used to dream about. H-H-Harry was kind of idiot sometimes but in the end he always somehow got through i-it. Like one time he tricked Ron into thinking that he had put Felix Felicis in his cup during breakfast when he really hadn't and gave him a lot confidence. H-H-Har-Har-Harry-" Ginny just couldn't bring herself to finish. "Thank you."

Ginny could feel a million sets of eyes on her but she just kept her head down and sobbed quietly. The rest of the funeral was a blur. When the funeral ended she stayed and just stared at the tomb. She was the very last person to leave. There were hundreds of flowers at his grave but it didn't feel like it was enough. She couldn't believe that she was never going to see him again.

Ginny thought for a long time. Did Ron and Hermione even understand? Of course they did, why was Ginny thinking these thoughts? If there was anyone to blame, it was her. Ginny could have done something. Anything. But of course, she didn't and now he was dead and it was all her fault.

* * *

In the following weeks to come Ginny found it hard to focus on anything except for Harry, even her children. She knew that her children understood but she still felt guilty. But in the end, the shock that Harry was gone was so great that she couldn't think of anything else.

A month after Harry died Ginny finally decided that it was time to get out of the bed that they used to share. The bed now felt huge without Harry there. Ginny really didn't want to but she knew she should/

Ron and Hermione came over daily and checked up on her. Ginny knew that they were struggling themselves but never let it show around Ginny. Ginny hated being treated like a piece of glass, like she was ready to break at any moment.

Ginny only made it to outside of the doorway but it was still progress in her mind. She laid down on the floor and probably would have felt ridiculous before Harry's death but now everything hurt too much to care.

When Ron saw Ginny he was proud of her too. "Gin, you made it out of your room!"

Ginny started to cry hard.

"Hey, Ginny it's okay," Hermione said.

* * *

A few months later Ginny still felt terrible.

"Ginny, are you okay?" Hermione asked.

"Well, my husband's dead, I have three children to raise all by myself, I haven't gone to work in months or made any money in fact I'm not even sure that I'm still employed there, and nobody understands what I'm going through!" Ginny snapped. "Why do I get to live when Harry saved the Wizarding World and I did nothing?!"

Hermione sucked in a deep breath. "Okay, Ginny stop! You don't need to raise three kids all by yourself because Ron and I are here for you, you guys aren't anywhere near bankruptcy with the Black inheritance and all, and of course Ron and I understand what your going through! Harry was practically our brother! As for it being that you 'don't think you deserve to live', of course you do! Harry may have saved the world but you helped! You defended Hogwarts when nobody was there to save it! Harry married you because he loved you. Nobody blames you for his death!"

How had Hermione read her mind? She hadn't said that she felt responsible.

"It was Harry's choice to make the call that he did, not yours. He knew the risks but because he loved you and your kids so much, he knew it was worth it. Heck, let's be real. He would have done it for anyone. If he had died for someone else, would you have been mad?" Hermione continued.

"No," Ginny said softly.

"And you're not going to forget Harry, either. So it's okay to move on. Harry would have wanted it."

Hermione grabbed Ron's wrist and pulled him out the door, leaving Ginny to think about what Hermione had said.

After a long time passed, Ginny ran out of her house. Ginny ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. She kept running as if she were running away from her problems. Ginny didn't know how far she had run but when she stopped, she caught her breath and ran to the nearest train station. She took the train to Godric's Hollow where Harry's tomb was and stared at it. She stared at it for a long time. There were lots of flowers there. She felt slightly guilty for not bringing some. She also knew that Harry would have hated this. He would have hated everything being so public. He hated how everyone knowed his name. He hated how the Daily Prophet warped everything into its own version. He hated being famous. He hated being the Chosen One. He hated how people would thank him for destroying Voldemort when he had never wanted gratitude.

Ginny knew Harry so well. Ginny felt stupid about what she was about to do but she didn't care.

"Harry, I miss you so much. The kids do too. Nothing is the same without you. Why did you have to be so stupid? Couldn't you have figured out some other way then to kill yourself? Come on Harry! Think of a better way! You could have done better! Still, it's just so hard to be mad at you. You've done so many good things in your life and it isn't fair that this is what ended up happening! I miss you so much!"

Ginny almost felt mad at him. Was Ginny a bad person because she was mad at her dead husband? Ginny seriously hoped not. Ginny realized that she had been thinking a lot about if her moves had made her a bad person recently.

* * *

Ginny continued to be mad at Harry for another month before feeling sad again. How could she have been mad at him? Ginny continued to be sad for another few months. It was a vicious cycle.

On the day that Ginny started to feel sad again she sat on the floor against the wall of her bedroom and stared at the wall across from it. Everything was numb. She wasn't even sure she was sad, she just didn't feel anger. It didn't even hurt anymore. She started to consider if living was even worth it.

Of course it is, her mind told her, you have three children who need you. Ginny quietly scolded herself.

A part of Ginny knew that it wasn't her fault but that didn't stop her from blaming yourself. The person who had kidnapped Harry had been arrested on the spot and it was really them to blame. Ginny still felt somewhat responsible, though. Ginny thought of all of the memories that Harry and her had had together and it made her chest form into a tight knot. Ginny ran to the bathroom and threw up. Ginny hadn't done that in months. It was like it was one step forward, two steps back and she hated it.

Ginny heard the front door open and knew that it must be Ron and Hermione. When they entered her room Hermione gave her a sympathetic look.

"Aw, Ginny, I'm sorry. I knew that you being mad would wear off soon. So I devised a plan with Ron." Hermione gestured to Ron for him to continue the plan.

"Yeah, we decided that we were going to share our best memories of Harry, saving nothing," Ron finished.

And so the trio did. By the end of the night Ginny knew that this was a step forward. A painful step, yes, but a step nonetheless. Ginny cried herself to sleep that night like she had done for so many nights in past months.

* * *

Nearly two years after Harry had died, Ginny felt like she was able to not be so sad all the time. She started going to work again. She didn't cry all day. It almost felt normal. Almost.

Ron and Hermione had helped out a lot too. When her kids went to Hogwarts she felt exceptionally lonely so Ron and Hermione either came over or she went over every night for dinner. Whenever Ginny had a panic attack, Ron and Hermione were there to save her again. Ginny didn't know what she would do without Ron and Hermione.

Even though Ginny had made so much progress, it still hurt that Harry was gone. She couldn't talk about him without bursting into tears in the middle of talking about him. Some nights she would look at some pictures of him, hold it them close to her heart, and cry hard. She still felt so lonely no matter what Ron and Hermione did to help.

* * *

Three years after Harry died Ginny and Ron went out to Hogsmeade for the first time since Harry died and saw the old bartender at the Three Broomsticks.

"Hey, long time, no see," the Bartender greeted us. "I'm sorry about Harry, Ginny."

"It's okay," Ginny sighed.

"Do you mind me asking how he died?"

Ron looked at Ginny. This was a sensitive topic that she still couldn't talk about without crying hard. However, Ginny didn't seem to notice.

"Well me, Albus, James, and Lily were kidnapped and he saved us but unfortunately, he died."

"Aw, I'm so sorry."

Ron looked at her in amazement. Had she really not noticed that she talked didn't fall apart after talking about Harry's death?

"What, Ron?" Ginny asked, irritated.

"Nothing." Ron decided that he was going to let Ginny figure this one out on her own. After all, it's really her decision when she's ready to talk about it or not.

* * *

Eleven years after Harry died Ginny looked in the mirror and back on her life. She still kept a picture of Harry close and thought about him everyday but it didn't hurt anymore. Ron had let her on that she hadn't cried after talking about Harry's death at the Three Broomsticks eight years ago only this morning, probably because it wasn't his decision to make on whether or not she had gotten over Harry or not.

Eight years ago. Yeah, that seemed about the time that she was over Harry.

Ginny would always love Harry and would always miss him but now, standing in her white wedding dress waiting for her dad to walk down her aisle, she knew that she had in fact, completely moved on.


End file.
